in the first days of our lives we cannot begin to comprehend what goes on around us. everything is new, having to be taught how to do every little thing. how to talk, and what to say when we do. we begin by crawling and mumbling.. fumbling our way through what we know to be life at that moment. I have found this to be true for spiritual life as well... when we first begin to have even the slightest amount of faith we dont know how to express it and in a sense are just like children. started from nothing and growing into and adult. just like kids each person develops at a different pace and in a different way. we have to be taught how to handle this new form of life. thankfully there is one thing that will undoubtedly help anyone through this. constantly pushing you to grow and become what you always wanted to be. because no matter what you say, every person wants to be more than what they are.. in some way better than themselves.. whether it be more courageous, loving, or even more social. God gives you all of this. sometimes slowly but when all is said and done there is nothing more worth it. life is more fulfilling, people are more beautiful. and personally the world is so much more vivid. even a breath of air can sometimes make the day worth living through no matter how bad it could be going. i was once in the boundary waters, which is on the border of canada and the united states, it was abut 2 in the morning.. and my friend and i were out on this rock that goes out into one of the lakes watching the northern lights.. i know everyone has heard of these.. .and they are a sight to behold.  but if that isnt enough.. after it was too late to see them anymore the clouds rolled in and about an hour later.. for some reason i became deathly afraid of something.. almost an evil presence. then suddenly my friend pointed up to the sky and to my complete amazement there was a clearing in the clouds in the perfect shape of a heart.. with all the stars inside of it glowing as bright as ever! now if this does not amaze you the im not sure what to tell you! it was truly a sight to behold. and made my heart beat stronger with every second i looked at it. that experience made the rest of the trip so much more enjoyable. that is the kind of stuff im talking about.

now i dont mean to be sexist so im going to post this one about guys. why should every guy be always thinking about sex? yes, we were created to being a little more sexual than women. but that is no excuse for us to not be respectful. i hate how most men treat girls as a trophy. i will admit i have done this before as well so i am not perfect.. there is nothing wrong with being proud of women.. they are beautiful. that is why we are attracted to them... we just have a hard time with how girls dress sometimes. guys can be pretty bad. the one night stands and not calling back.. yea i know we suck. we need control. but no one is there to help us gain control anymore. everyone only encourages the way we act and its getting worse and this sickens me. women still need to be treated like women, or princesses if you will. they deserve respect and love. no matter what they may do that pisses us of. or however much we think they dont know anything sometimes. but please ladies.. treat yourself as such too.. be respectful of yourself and take pride in yourself.

what is wrong with the way we see things? EVERYTHING!

how do people deal with what goes on around us everyday? as i walk down the sidewalk or drive around all i see are a bunch of hookers on the corners. wait.. im sorry. those are just teenage girls.. why does this seem ok to everyone? does anyone realize that the body is sacred? even if you are not religious. why would you want to go around flaunting what you have? girls tell me all the time that guys are douches and they cant fid a god one.. i wonder if theyve ever thought that what kind of guy they get has something to do with how they present themselves? or their sense of security? in my oppinon parents need to do a little better of a job with their childrens upbringing. if a child has a good relationship with their parents they are less likely to go out searching for love and acceptance somewhere else. Also i dont understand why anyone thinks its ok to teach 6th graders ABOUT SEX. what good does this do? cant they see that each time they lower the age they are taught how to have sex the younger they do it? i cant come accross hardly anyone that is a virgin at the age of 16 anymore. this is extremly dissapointing to me. innocence is a gift that should be charished as long as possible. 

one day

one day

by Thomas Anthony Fraetis on Monday, May 25, 2009 at 10:20pm

one day, he saw the world...sitting so close to him he could reach out and touch it. a world full of what he longed for and new was all he ever wanted, he knew he would be so happy to live in that world. and for awhile he got the chance to be in that world...where all that he saw had such vibrant and bright colors.. the trees were so green and the sky was so blue..and the flowers were so beautiful...so beautiful...and all he cared about was taking care of the world he was in...and the world gave back to him.. gave him dreams of what someday that world could be. he was scared though.. that that world would be taken away from him and that all he loved in that world would be lost to him and he wouldn't be able to gain it back.. no matter what he did or what he said. but he worried so much about losing the world that he forgot what he was like before.. and started to think about things that weren't there and things that made him think that he couldn't have the world, even though he knew in his heart that it was his. thinking those thoughts made him do things that he didn't understand...but he tried to fix it and he asked for help from God and God did help him he stopped having those thoughts and feeling the way he did, but it was too late.. the world he had loved was falling apart... things started to fade from bright and living to dull and faded.. the flowers were wilting and the trees were turning brown... at that point he realized that he had to stop and refocus on what he loved so much and needed to stop worrying about what he knew wasn't real. so he tried to fix all the flowers.... he wanted to replant new ones and grow new trees... but the world was already dead. and he couldn't do anything about it... he new what was going to happen, the world was falling away from him. so all he could do was hope that he could do something.. anything to regrow what had been lost to him... but he did not get that chance.. and the world fell away. he was still in love with that world and what was in it... he still has the dreams of what his world could have been. but he doesn't know...he has no clue if he will ever be able to see that world again... the world he loved, the world where everything was so vibrant and so bright....where the trees were such a bright green...and the sky a deep soft blue...he missed that world so much, but for now... he can do nothing but dream.

floating

floating

by Thomas Anthony Fraetis on Wednesday, May 27, 2009 at 12:11pm

as i stand on the edge of the garage i look out into the darkness of the night, i can see nothing but i can hear the wind blowing through the trees, moving the leaves ever so slightly. the sky is clouded but the sound of the driizzling rain landing everywhere around me is soothing there are no sounds other than the wind and the rain. everything is at peace. i close my eyes and invision myself as the wind. blowing through all that is around me not seeing or hearing but only feeling everything i move through. and as i slowly move through the leaves of the trees i feel myself being cleansed...without worry or pain or hurt.. i leave the world i am in behind. being at peace with only what i can feel now...my mind put at ease from all the things i have ever worried about, all the things that have got wrong, all the things i can not fix. all of these things are gone from myself. i am not a body but a feeling. being blown wherever the wind takes me far away from everything.. floating across fields and rivers... not seeing them or hearing them but feeling that they are there. i then come back to myself not wanting to but willing at the same time. not wanting to come back to this ife and yet thankful for a chance to see what may be. i come back to myself, and as i turn to walk inside i feel someone say to me that everything will be ok. i close my eyes once more, and say "thank you".

the dream

the dream

by Thomas Anthony Fraetis on Monday, June 15, 2009 at 1:23am

i am stuck in a world where i am lost in all that goes on, i search for you looking through hallways, opening every closet i yearn to find what my heart truly wants and needs. i feel your presence inside me but i dont see you, so i look harder and harder but still i dont see you anywhere. inside i am dying...its eating me a live.. knowing you are there and yet still searching for you. my kness give way to the doubt and anger and i fall...holding my head in my hands... slowly i rise from my knees, and stand tall. i open my eyes and i see you there. in front of me bright and shining like the sun you reach your hand towards me and sudenly i find myself awake in my bed looking at the sealing....and now... i find myself lost...but not lost in the world.. but lost in YOU...all that you are everything that is amazing... and TRULY perfect.

this is not a song this is just how i feel on this subject

dont become what the world is trying to make you.

by Thomas Anthony Fraetis on Saturday, August 8, 2009 at 3:08am

this is an emergency, can we not see what our world is coming to? even me, being young can remember when it was actually looked down on to have children dress as they do now. especially girls. in my opinion a 12 year old girl should not dress like a 25 year old. and in some cases almost hooker-ish. this just sickens me. and we wonder why there are so many pedophiles! can you not see?! we create the problem ourselves! now trust me, i have no problem with a young girl trying to look good.. there is nothing wrong with that. but the fact is it does not have to involve skin tight shorts that could easily be mistaken for something else! and the same goes for swim suit! i mean come on people! a tiny bikini does not belong on young girls. and yet socially this has become acceptable. its on tv, movies, everything. and this sickens me the most....i dont know why any parent could allow this, but there are underaged girls that model under wear. really... this world is sick and twisted. somebody save us! also another thing.. older girls. seriously. expect to get looked at like a piece of meat when you dress like one! im sorry but i have to be very blunt on this point! dont wear skimpy clothing and then get mad that you are being looked at like what you are dressing as. if you dont want that, then dont dres as such!! then there is violence, now this isnt as big a deal for me but only because i am a little older than some of the kids that watch this crap, parents take their little kids to r rated movies like its no big deal. ratings have gotten so loose nowadays that even an r rated film can sometimes be refferred to as a pornography. i am so disguisted with how america and the world is becoming.. so many things that were conidered wrong and unthinkable 10 years ago are perfectly fine with us now! we need to wake up and smell the flowers... this is all i have to say. i just had to get this out there because it has been on my mind for a long time and it bothers me how screwed up this world is

the worlds abyss

the worlds abyss

by Thomas Anthony Fraetis on Sunday, October 25, 2009 at 6:21pm

When we stand but fall. Or...at leas we think we are standing tall. But really we are at the bottom o the abyss, thinking the best. Thinking we are the best In the world. Making what god created to be more than himself the creator. We don't need help, we are the human race right? The most advanced species in the world...and the universe. But wait...who is the one that made the world for you to be th best in? Don't take fo granted what we have been blessed with. Don't make yourself a god among men.God takes false idols....false"GODS"...and cuts them down like timber to be put into a lake of fire. To be burned but never extinguished. Instead. Make yourself a servant. Let your knees get a little dirt on them sothat your SOUL can be cleansed. Don't let the dirt that the world puts on the holy ground o prayer stop you from sinking deepinto his love. Let your pride be shattered. For pride IS the abyss of the world.

another dream

yet again. another dream.

by Thomas Anthony Fraetis on Tuesday, March 30, 2010 at 9:14pm

when all seems lost.. and the smoke fillsd the air, battle cries are heard across the desert sand.
with bullets flying overhead and landing right in front of you, wounds from a fight well worth it. all i can think of is that one person and all that comes to my mind is what she is to me.
time slows almost to a standstill, nothing is heard. nothing is felt. but i see her face in front of me.
glowing with a perfect smile that could stop the toughest man in his tracks.
i reach for an invisible hand , almost crawling. toward the image in front of me.
i fall on my face. almost in tears, i say her name into the sand. only loud enough for me to hear.
when everything goes black. this is when i wake up.

my song

my song

by Thomas Anthony Fraetis on Wednesday, April 7, 2010 at 3:57am

all time has past. i used to be so much more, more than you know. i have lost, lost it all only to see how far from what i need i really am. so long youve ben gone, maybe my luck will change. after all this time has past. gone by like the wind. and memories of harsh words and bitter felings fall away to be no more than a leaf on the ground that blows away to never be seen again...

this is my song to you forever since ive met you
since ive seen you in dreams of good times and better days
lets forget the past and start fresh. the only thing i wish for
when all is lost never give up the hope for what you love.

let me apologize for what i said and let me become the thngs i once thought i was.
never have i felt so lost before. when thoughts of you come and go day by day.
they rush me like a cool breeze and leave like a storm when i realize what you must think of me.
when i cant sleep for fear i may dream of an angel. how can an angel be so terrifying.


this is my song to you forever since ive met you
since ive seen you in dreams of good times and better days
lets forget the past and start fresh. the only thing i wish for
when all is lost never give up the hope for what you love.


all i have is what i can say to you now. when you cant hear me.
hear me out one more time...
but how, how can you talk to something so beautiful and so perfect.
what can i say when no words describe what i want to tell you.
sometimes. words wil not work. if only they did then maybe you could understand why.

never.. never...never give up on what you love.
they say if you love it let it go.
i say if you truly love it. keep it close... you will know when it makes you happier than anything youve ever known.

the perfect poem

the perfect poem

by Thomas Anthony Fraetis on Wednesday, April 14, 2010 at 2:02am

sometimes fancy words cannot explain how you feel
so all i say is; I Have And Will Always Love You

a song for the band/ let me know what you think. its a hardcore song

by Thomas Anthony Fraetis on Tuesday, May 11, 2010 at 1:45am

throw down my arms in resistance, im shackled, ill strain and stress till i shatter the steel around my wrist
if you want war, youve released the beast within

no stopping now
no where for this to go
finally standing up like a man
its time for you to know, im through with you

something speaks to me to continue on the ground bloodied and bruised, grind it out. block it out.
venting through fists of fury.this isnt good but right now it feels so right.
finding this monster within scares me to no end. where will it end

no stopping now
no where for this to go
finally standing up like a man
its time for you to know, im through with you

infuriated by you. im gonna let it go till the last peice fades away, all is lost. your just another star in the sky. youll flicker out just like the rest. so few shine bright like they should, emptiness fills the void you left but still i cant feel.

take it away

take it away.

by Thomas Anthony Fraetis on Wednesday, September 22, 2010 at 12:50am

to all the days past and all the days that ill always want again.
take them and throw them out. they are as good as the words you wrote me.
cruelty knows not its limits. scouring out the hearts of many. day by day. i fall victim to the hate.
redeemed by only what the world tells me and still feeling the beating of nothing within.
my chest is as hollow as yours is merciless. never can you feel the way i have.
regrets and shame for something i never did wrong. betrayal, and desertion are your only trophies to bear.
become what you were not. give back the life you stole. never again will these eyes be fooled or this heart tormented.
 forget me not. but never want me back.

endless rebellion

Endless rebellion

by Thomas Anthony Fraetis on Wednesday, September 22, 2010 at 1:59am

to those that cannot find a place withing this world, there is a higher calling for us.
to stand up and stand out against this crowd. despite all the pounding of so called knowledge.

  release us. that which is within, we do notfight to save the world.
  for the world has already met its doom.

desolate we have become....a world full of individuals.
little do they know their choices lead them to never ending pain ,even though they search for pleasure.
we have no rest until the task is done. forever, never ending is our assignment.

  release us. that  which is withn, we do not fight to save the world
  for the world has already met its doom.

we are not the same. born different, with a fire that is ever hungry for more.
uncontrollable and unpredictable is how we must act. regret nothing for there is nothing to regret.
we have no fears because fear is on our side. nothing can touch what is indomitable.

idk yet

Edit

... idk... lol

by Thomas Anthony Fraetis on Monday, September 27, 2010 at 10:17pm

you take your pain, braught about by how you threw it all away. call me, talk to me, then stop me. dead in my tracks.
no warning no way of reasoning with you. trying to set this right was never in your plans. you took it all.
blatant disregard for any other feelings. now youve found a better man. you say i changed, i say you wanted out. i dont wish for your return. infact i wish for your memories to be wiped from my life. pain is not what love should bring. i loved, you lost. and for some reason im the one left with all the pain. not able to feel anything more than whats not there. built like a house with nothing inside.  no warmth do i feel. no colors do i see, no sounds do i hear. love ended all that was bright and beautiful in my eyes. that world has gone. now all i see is a barren wasteland empty of everything i ever wished for. stolen raided and plundered of its riches. dirt and sand fill the cracks where it should be cared for by the one who supposedly cared.