sorry, i have not been on lately due to the holiday season! ive been so busy with my family and finally being able to see some of them again!! and ive realized that just as we have family and we love our own earthly family.. i cant imagine how much God loves us..he has given us so many things in life to be thankful for. he has been gracious enough to bless us with people that love us, and are always there for us. it makes my hunger to understand god grow even more! his love washes over me and it feels so overwhelming.. its almost like a chill, but warm and comforting. i have made so many mistakes in my life and my lord and savior is always there to be my leaning post. my drink of water, and my strength! much in ways that our families can be. but Gods love is infinite. it is incomparable to anything! even though we use things sometimes to bring it to something we can understand. my lord carries me.. he brings me down so that i can see him clearer.. he lifts me up so i can continue. is is everything. my all my savior and my God. nothing compares to him.

patients...the ultimate test

i know i struggle with this particular virtue DAILY. on many different levels... whether its not getting mad at someone or just waiting for a txt. patience is such a key part in our lives... we use it all the time, even though we may not realize it! i personally have trouble in being patient with people that i think are being completely irrational and refuse to listen to reason.. and one my patience is spent i tend to get pretty heated. often times anger is a direct eaffect of patience. Only because we try to not get mad to the point that we explode on whatever is the primary focus of the situation. i know that God has helped me a lot with my patients.. i used to be HORRIBLE! like.. just plain difficult lol but once my faith became stronger and i prayed and asked for help with that fault of mine.. i began to see huge results.. i still struggle with this but thanks to you know who its much better. so i say just try and be patient. i know its ironic.. but it may take time. nothing is usually an instant change!

Daniel chapter three

¹ King Nebuchadnezzar made an image of gold, sixty cubits high and six cubits wide,^[a] and set it up on the plain of Dura in the province of Babylon. ² He then summoned the satraps, prefects, governors, advisers, treasurers, judges, magistrates and all the other provincial officials to come to the dedication of the image he had set up. ³ So the satraps, prefects, governors, advisers, treasurers, judges, magistrates and all the other provincial officials assembled for the dedication of the image that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up, and they stood before it.
 ⁴ Then the herald loudly proclaimed, “Nations and peoples of every language, this is what you are commanded to do: ⁵ As soon as you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipe and all kinds of music, you must fall down and worship the image of gold that King Nebuchadnezzar has set up. ⁶ Whoever does not fall down and worship will immediately be thrown into a blazing furnace.”
 ⁷ Therefore, as soon as they heard the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp and all kinds of music, all the nations and peoples of every language fell down and worshiped the image of gold that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up.
 ⁸ At this time some astrologers^[b] came forward and denounced the Jews. ⁹ They said to King Nebuchadnezzar, “May the king live forever! ¹⁰ Your Majesty has issued a decree that everyone who hears the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipe and all kinds of music must fall down and worship the image of gold, ¹¹ and that whoever does not fall down and worship will be thrown into a blazing furnace. ¹² But there are some Jews whom you have set over the affairs of the province of Babylon—Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego—who pay no attention to you, Your Majesty. They neither serve your gods nor worship the image of gold you have set up.”
 ¹³ Furious with rage, Nebuchadnezzar summoned Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. So these men were brought before the king, ¹⁴ and Nebuchadnezzar said to them, “Is it true, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, that you do not serve my gods or worship the image of gold I have set up? ¹⁵ Now when you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipe and all kinds of music, if you are ready to fall down and worship the image I made, very good. But if you do not worship it, you will be thrown immediately into a blazing furnace. Then what god will be able to rescue you from my hand?”
 ¹⁶ Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. ¹⁷ If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us^[c] from Your Majesty’s hand. ¹⁸ But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”
 ¹⁹ Then Nebuchadnezzar was furious with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and his attitude toward them changed. He ordered the furnace heated seven times hotter than usual ²⁰ and commanded some of the strongest soldiers in his army to tie up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and throw them into the blazing furnace. ²¹ So these men, wearing their robes, trousers, turbans and other clothes, were bound and thrown into the blazing furnace. ²² The king’s command was so urgent and the furnace so hot that the flames of the fire killed the soldiers who took up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, ²³ and these three men, firmly tied, fell into the blazing furnace.
 ²⁴ Then King Nebuchadnezzar leaped to his feet in amazement and asked his advisers, “Weren’t there three men that we tied up and threw into the fire?”
   They replied, “Certainly, Your Majesty.”
 ²⁵ He said, “Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of the gods.”
 ²⁶ Nebuchadnezzar then approached the opening of the blazing furnace and shouted, “Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out! Come here!”
   So Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego came out of the fire, ²⁷ and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them.
 ²⁸ Then Nebuchadnezzar said, “Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in him and defied the king’s command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God. ²⁹ Therefore I decree that the people of any nation or language who say anything against the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego be cut into pieces and their houses be turned into piles of rubble, for no other god can save in this way.”
 ³⁰ Then the king promoted Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the province of Babylon.

Daniel chapter 2

¹ In the second year of his reign, Nebuchadnezzar had dreams; his mind was troubled and he could not sleep. ² So the king summoned the magicians, enchanters, sorcerers and astrologers^[a] to tell him what he had dreamed. When they came in and stood before the king, ³ he said to them, “I have had a dream that troubles me and I want to know what it means.^[b]”
 ⁴ Then the astrologers answered the king,^[c] “May the king live forever! Tell your servants the dream, and we will interpret it.”
 ⁵ The king replied to the astrologers, “This is what I have firmly decided: If you do not tell me what my dream was and interpret it, I will have you cut into pieces and your houses turned into piles of rubble. ⁶ But if you tell me the dream and explain it, you will receive from me gifts and rewards and great honor. So tell me the dream and interpret it for me.”
 ⁷ Once more they replied, “Let the king tell his servants the dream, and we will interpret it.”
 ⁸ Then the king answered, “I am certain that you are trying to gain time, because you realize that this is what I have firmly decided: ⁹ If you do not tell me the dream, there is only one penalty for you. You have conspired to tell me misleading and wicked things, hoping the situation will change. So then, tell me the dream, and I will know that you can interpret it for me.”
 ¹⁰ The astrologers answered the king, “There is no one on earth who can do what the king asks! No king, however great and mighty, has ever asked such a thing of any magician or enchanter or astrologer. ¹¹ What the king asks is too difficult. No one can reveal it to the king except the gods, and they do not live among humans.”
 ¹² This made the king so angry and furious that he ordered the execution of all the wise men of Babylon. ¹³ So the decree was issued to put the wise men to death, and men were sent to look for Daniel and his friends to put them to death.
 ¹⁴ When Arioch, the commander of the king’s guard, had gone out to put to death the wise men of Babylon, Daniel spoke to him with wisdom and tact. ¹⁵ He asked the king’s officer, “Why did the king issue such a harsh decree?” Arioch then explained the matter to Daniel. ¹⁶ At this, Daniel went in to the king and asked for time, so that he might interpret the dream for him.
 ¹⁷ Then Daniel returned to his house and explained the matter to his friends Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah. ¹⁸ He urged them to plead for mercy from the God of heaven concerning this mystery, so that he and his friends might not be executed with the rest of the wise men of Babylon. ¹⁹ During the night the mystery was revealed to Daniel in a vision. Then Daniel praised the God of heaven ²⁰ and said:
   “Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever;
   wisdom and power are his.
²¹ He changes times and seasons;
   he deposes kings and raises up others.
He gives wisdom to the wise
   and knowledge to the discerning.
²² He reveals deep and hidden things;
   he knows what lies in darkness,
   and light dwells with him.
²³ I thank and praise you, God of my ancestors:
   You have given me wisdom and power,
you have made known to me what we asked of you,
   you have made known to us the dream of the king.”

Daniel Interprets the Dream

 ²⁴ Then Daniel went to Arioch, whom the king had appointed to execute the wise men of Babylon, and said to him, “Do not execute the wise men of Babylon. Take me to the king, and I will interpret his dream for him.”  ²⁵ Arioch took Daniel to the king at once and said, “I have found a man among the exiles from Judah who can tell the king what his dream means.”
 ²⁶ The king asked Daniel (also called Belteshazzar), “Are you able to tell me what I saw in my dream and interpret it?”
 ²⁷ Daniel replied, “No wise man, enchanter, magician or diviner can explain to the king the mystery he has asked about, ²⁸ but there is a God in heaven who reveals mysteries. He has shown King Nebuchadnezzar what will happen in days to come. Your dream and the visions that passed through your mind as you were lying in bed are these:
 ²⁹ “As Your Majesty was lying there, your mind turned to things to come, and the revealer of mysteries showed you what is going to happen. ³⁰ As for me, this mystery has been revealed to me, not because I have greater wisdom than anyone else alive, but so that Your Majesty may know the interpretation and that you may understand what went through your mind.
 ³¹ “Your Majesty looked, and there before you stood a large statue—an enormous, dazzling statue, awesome in appearance. ³² The head of the statue was made of pure gold, its chest and arms of silver, its belly and thighs of bronze, ³³ its legs of iron, its feet partly of iron and partly of baked clay. ³⁴ While you were watching, a rock was cut out, but not by human hands. It struck the statue on its feet of iron and clay and smashed them. ³⁵ Then the iron, the clay, the bronze, the silver and the gold were all broken to pieces and became like chaff on a threshing floor in the summer. The wind swept them away without leaving a trace. But the rock that struck the statue became a huge mountain and filled the whole earth.
 ³⁶ “This was the dream, and now we will interpret it to the king. ³⁷ Your Majesty, you are the king of kings. The God of heaven has given you dominion and power and might and glory; ³⁸ in your hands he has placed all mankind and the beasts of the field and the birds in the sky. Wherever they live, he has made you ruler over them all. You are that head of gold.
 ³⁹ “After you, another kingdom will arise, inferior to yours. Next, a third kingdom, one of bronze, will rule over the whole earth. ⁴⁰ Finally, there will be a fourth kingdom, strong as iron—for iron breaks and smashes everything—and as iron breaks things to pieces, so it will crush and break all the others. ⁴¹ Just as you saw that the feet and toes were partly of baked clay and partly of iron, so this will be a divided kingdom; yet it will have some of the strength of iron in it, even as you saw iron mixed with clay. ⁴² As the toes were partly iron and partly clay, so this kingdom will be partly strong and partly brittle. ⁴³ And just as you saw the iron mixed with baked clay, so the people will be a mixture and will not remain united, any more than iron mixes with clay.
 ⁴⁴ “In the time of those kings, the God of heaven will set up a kingdom that will never be destroyed, nor will it be left to another people. It will crush all those kingdoms and bring them to an end, but it will itself endure forever. ⁴⁵ This is the meaning of the vision of the rock cut out of a mountain, but not by human hands—a rock that broke the iron, the bronze, the clay, the silver and the gold to pieces.
   “The great God has shown the king what will take place in the future. The dream is true and its interpretation is trustworthy.”
 ⁴⁶ Then King Nebuchadnezzar fell prostrate before Daniel and paid him honor and ordered that an offering and incense be presented to him. ⁴⁷ The king said to Daniel, “Surely your God is the God of gods and the Lord of kings and a revealer of mysteries, for you were able to reveal this mystery.”
 ⁴⁸ Then the king placed Daniel in a high position and lavished many gifts on him. He made him ruler over the entire province of Babylon and placed him in charge of all its wise men. ⁴⁹ Moreover, at Daniel’s request the king appointed Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego administrators over the province of Babylon, while Daniel himself remained at the royal court.

Daniel chapter uno

1 In the third year of the reign of Jehoiakim king of Judah, Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon came to Jerusalem and besieged it. 2 And the Lord delivered Jehoiakim king of Judah into his hand, along with some of the articles from the temple of God. These he carried off to the temple of his god in Babylonia and put in the treasure house of his god. 3 Then the king ordered Ashpenaz, chief of his court officials, to bring in some of the Israelites from the royal family and the nobility-- 4 young men without any physical defect, handsome, showing aptitude for every kind of learning, well informed, quick to understand, and qualified to serve in the king's palace. He was to teach them the language and literature of the Babylonians. 5 The king assigned them a daily amount of food and wine from the king's table. They were to be trained for three years, and after that they were to enter the king's service. 6 Among these were some from Judah: Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah. 7 The chief official gave them new names: to Daniel, the name Belteshazzar; to Hananiah, Shadrach; to Mishael, Meshach; and to Azariah, Abednego. 8 But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way. 9 Now God had caused the official to show favor and sympathy to Daniel, 10 but the official told Daniel, "I am afraid of my lord the king, who has assigned your food and drink. Why should he see you looking worse than the other young men your age? The king would then have my head because of you." 11 Daniel then said to the guard whom the chief official had appointed over Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah, 12 "Please test your servants for ten days: Give us nothing but vegetables to eat and water to drink. 13 Then compare our appearance with that of the young men who eat the royal food, and treat your servants in accordance with what you see." 14 So he agreed to this and tested them for ten days. 15 At the end of the ten days they looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food. 16 So the guard took away their choice food and the wine they were to drink and gave them vegetables instead. 17 To these four young men God gave knowledge and understanding of all kinds of literature and learning. And Daniel could understand visions and dreams of all kinds. 18 At the end of the time set by the king to bring them in, the chief official presented them to Nebuchadnezzar. 19 The king talked with them, and he found none equal to Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah; so they entered the king's service. 20 In every matter of wisdom and understanding about which the king questioned them, he found them ten times better than all the magicians and enchanters in his whole kingdom. 21 And Daniel remained there until the first year of King Cyrus.

give a little thanks

Make music with the gifts God gave you.. you dont have to have a voice to sing. use what you have to glorify him! sometimes you have more of a effect on people than you think! if you can draw use it to show people what he has done! if you can sing, sing to him! (or just sing in the shower like the rest of us that cant actually sing lol ) if you can write, write to make him known.. even if its in a small way God doesnt care. all he wants is our attention and hes selfish with his children.. he doesnt want anyone else to have us.. just like a mother does not want her child to be taken away. God doesnt want satan to take away what he has created.. even though he has given us a choice. i know that every time we make a bad choice or choose the wrong way, he has to feel the pain from that. i know what some people say, if he really is God why doesnt he just make us love him? the answer is he LOVES us UNCONDITIONALLY, with his WHOLE HEART, and think about it.....if you really love someone are you going to make them love you? or would you have them CHOOSE to love you back? there is no love that youve ever felt that is comparable to how the Lord loves. so why not show him your appreciation?! we have so much to thank him for, but i feel like people sometimes lose track of that sometimes. and it would be great to see that fire come alive in everyone more often!

Psalm 2

 ¹ Why do the nations conspire^[a]
   and the peoples plot in vain?
² The kings of the earth rise up
   and the rulers band together
   against the LORD and against his anointed, saying,
³ “Let us break their chains
   and throw off their shackles.”  ⁴ The One enthroned in heaven laughs;
   the Lord scoffs at them.
⁵ He rebukes them in his anger
   and terrifies them in his wrath, saying,
⁶ “I have installed my king
   on Zion, my holy mountain.”
 ⁷ I will proclaim the LORD’s decree:
   He said to me, “You are my son;
   today I have become your father.
⁸ Ask me,
   and I will make the nations your inheritance,
   the ends of the earth your possession.
⁹ You will break them with a rod of iron^[b];
   you will dash them to pieces like pottery.”
 ¹⁰ Therefore, you kings, be wise;
   be warned, you rulers of the earth.
¹¹ Serve the LORD with fear
   and celebrate his rule with trembling.
¹² Kiss his son, or he will be angry
   and your way will lead to your destruction,
for his wrath can flare up in a moment.
   Blessed are all who take refuge in him.

lifes problems..

when God throws a problem at you at a thousand miles an hour its time to step up to the plate... show him your faith can overcome anything. show him that you are the person he created you to be. we are capable of so much and sometimes it isnt anyone else but ourselves that are holding us back from growing... we may be scaredof what people will think.. scared to take a risk , scared to put our neck on the chopping block. if you think about it... even if you are not a christian.. why does it matter what others think? if we are all going to die one day.. and it wont matter then. why should it matter now?  as a christian it only matters to me what God thinks.. and generally what makes him happy isnt too appealing to those of the world. but as i was saying.. when you are thrown a problem stand up and work through it.. day by day, pray.. it does help. i have a personal story i am goin gto share to prove my point.. i was homeless for almost three months. for a couple weeks i was living in my car with all of my belonging...every night i would pray that God would provide for me... and he did.. people at a local bar invited me over for dinner, and they had a potluck every Sunday... he provided for me with food even though i may not have been able to eat during the day he provided for me every night! not only that but as you can imagine, i had no job. so i also prayed and prayed that i would get hired at this gym as a salesman.. and a week after i applied i got it.. a really good job i might add! i had no experience in the field and had many things that they knew about that normally would have meant i couldn't get the job.. a main one was transportation. But still i was hired on. and not long after an employee offered for me to live wth him in his apt! God does provide.. in many ways and he will always help you no matter what. you just have to open your heart to him and be faithful to him!

Psalm 1

BOOK I
Psalms 1–41

 ¹ Blessed is the one
   who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
   or sit in the company of mockers,
² but whose delight is in the law of the LORD,
   and who meditates on his law day and night.
³ That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
   which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
   whatever they do prospers.  ⁴ Not so the wicked!
   They are like chaff
   that the wind blows away.
⁵ Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
   nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.
 ⁶ For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous,
   but the way of the wicked leads to destruction.

honestly..its honesty

honesty... sometimes the hardest thing to do. when faced with certain things it seems to be the hardest decition for anyone to make. but the hardest things are meant to be tests of out strength. i have failed in this many times. and it makes it harder when those around us dont tell everything honestly either. no one wants to look like the bad guy. sometimes to be able to tell the truth you have to look like the bad guy. the truth always comes out eventually, in a year, maybe less.. maybe more. but it will come out the world needs to learn to be more honest than it is. all of the social magazines, with their lies about celebrities, even if they are just stretches of the truth.. only to cause drama because that is what everyone wants to hear.. and it still baffles me to this day and makes me wonder why so many people strive on the problems of others. why is it that drama is what fuels most peoples lives? sometimes if there isnt drama intheir life everything falls apart. this is because of a need for attention.. they feel that people dont pay enough attention to them so they have to spread rumors or start them i order to cause drama or to cause problems for other people... i just wanted to bring this to everyones attention because it can ruin a persons life. the smallest thing you say can impact a persons life in an enormous way. words may be free but if not used properly they can become very expensive. im not talking about money.. im saying it can cost you many things in your life. friends.. your own morality,and the morality of others. someone can be the most careing gentle person in the world, yet if something is said about them or to them enough it can turn them the opposite... becoming bitter and angry with everyone. just because of some "harmless" words.

in the first days of our lives we cannot begin to comprehend what goes on around us. everything is new, having to be taught how to do every little thing. how to talk, and what to say when we do. we begin by crawling and mumbling.. fumbling our way through what we know to be life at that moment. I have found this to be true for spiritual life as well... when we first begin to have even the slightest amount of faith we dont know how to express it and in a sense are just like children. started from nothing and growing into and adult. just like kids each person develops at a different pace and in a different way. we have to be taught how to handle this new form of life. thankfully there is one thing that will undoubtedly help anyone through this. constantly pushing you to grow and become what you always wanted to be. because no matter what you say, every person wants to be more than what they are.. in some way better than themselves.. whether it be more courageous, loving, or even more social. God gives you all of this. sometimes slowly but when all is said and done there is nothing more worth it. life is more fulfilling, people are more beautiful. and personally the world is so much more vivid. even a breath of air can sometimes make the day worth living through no matter how bad it could be going. i was once in the boundary waters, which is on the border of canada and the united states, it was abut 2 in the morning.. and my friend and i were out on this rock that goes out into one of the lakes watching the northern lights.. i know everyone has heard of these.. .and they are a sight to behold.  but if that isnt enough.. after it was too late to see them anymore the clouds rolled in and about an hour later.. for some reason i became deathly afraid of something.. almost an evil presence. then suddenly my friend pointed up to the sky and to my complete amazement there was a clearing in the clouds in the perfect shape of a heart.. with all the stars inside of it glowing as bright as ever! now if this does not amaze you the im not sure what to tell you! it was truly a sight to behold. and made my heart beat stronger with every second i looked at it. that experience made the rest of the trip so much more enjoyable. that is the kind of stuff im talking about.

now i dont mean to be sexist so im going to post this one about guys. why should every guy be always thinking about sex? yes, we were created to being a little more sexual than women. but that is no excuse for us to not be respectful. i hate how most men treat girls as a trophy. i will admit i have done this before as well so i am not perfect.. there is nothing wrong with being proud of women.. they are beautiful. that is why we are attracted to them... we just have a hard time with how girls dress sometimes. guys can be pretty bad. the one night stands and not calling back.. yea i know we suck. we need control. but no one is there to help us gain control anymore. everyone only encourages the way we act and its getting worse and this sickens me. women still need to be treated like women, or princesses if you will. they deserve respect and love. no matter what they may do that pisses us of. or however much we think they dont know anything sometimes. but please ladies.. treat yourself as such too.. be respectful of yourself and take pride in yourself.

what is wrong with the way we see things? EVERYTHING!

how do people deal with what goes on around us everyday? as i walk down the sidewalk or drive around all i see are a bunch of hookers on the corners. wait.. im sorry. those are just teenage girls.. why does this seem ok to everyone? does anyone realize that the body is sacred? even if you are not religious. why would you want to go around flaunting what you have? girls tell me all the time that guys are douches and they cant fid a god one.. i wonder if theyve ever thought that what kind of guy they get has something to do with how they present themselves? or their sense of security? in my oppinon parents need to do a little better of a job with their childrens upbringing. if a child has a good relationship with their parents they are less likely to go out searching for love and acceptance somewhere else. Also i dont understand why anyone thinks its ok to teach 6th graders ABOUT SEX. what good does this do? cant they see that each time they lower the age they are taught how to have sex the younger they do it? i cant come accross hardly anyone that is a virgin at the age of 16 anymore. this is extremly dissapointing to me. innocence is a gift that should be charished as long as possible. 

one day

one day

by Thomas Anthony Fraetis on Monday, May 25, 2009 at 10:20pm

one day, he saw the world...sitting so close to him he could reach out and touch it. a world full of what he longed for and new was all he ever wanted, he knew he would be so happy to live in that world. and for awhile he got the chance to be in that world...where all that he saw had such vibrant and bright colors.. the trees were so green and the sky was so blue..and the flowers were so beautiful...so beautiful...and all he cared about was taking care of the world he was in...and the world gave back to him.. gave him dreams of what someday that world could be. he was scared though.. that that world would be taken away from him and that all he loved in that world would be lost to him and he wouldn't be able to gain it back.. no matter what he did or what he said. but he worried so much about losing the world that he forgot what he was like before.. and started to think about things that weren't there and things that made him think that he couldn't have the world, even though he knew in his heart that it was his. thinking those thoughts made him do things that he didn't understand...but he tried to fix it and he asked for help from God and God did help him he stopped having those thoughts and feeling the way he did, but it was too late.. the world he had loved was falling apart... things started to fade from bright and living to dull and faded.. the flowers were wilting and the trees were turning brown... at that point he realized that he had to stop and refocus on what he loved so much and needed to stop worrying about what he knew wasn't real. so he tried to fix all the flowers.... he wanted to replant new ones and grow new trees... but the world was already dead. and he couldn't do anything about it... he new what was going to happen, the world was falling away from him. so all he could do was hope that he could do something.. anything to regrow what had been lost to him... but he did not get that chance.. and the world fell away. he was still in love with that world and what was in it... he still has the dreams of what his world could have been. but he doesn't know...he has no clue if he will ever be able to see that world again... the world he loved, the world where everything was so vibrant and so bright....where the trees were such a bright green...and the sky a deep soft blue...he missed that world so much, but for now... he can do nothing but dream.

floating

floating

by Thomas Anthony Fraetis on Wednesday, May 27, 2009 at 12:11pm

as i stand on the edge of the garage i look out into the darkness of the night, i can see nothing but i can hear the wind blowing through the trees, moving the leaves ever so slightly. the sky is clouded but the sound of the driizzling rain landing everywhere around me is soothing there are no sounds other than the wind and the rain. everything is at peace. i close my eyes and invision myself as the wind. blowing through all that is around me not seeing or hearing but only feeling everything i move through. and as i slowly move through the leaves of the trees i feel myself being cleansed...without worry or pain or hurt.. i leave the world i am in behind. being at peace with only what i can feel now...my mind put at ease from all the things i have ever worried about, all the things that have got wrong, all the things i can not fix. all of these things are gone from myself. i am not a body but a feeling. being blown wherever the wind takes me far away from everything.. floating across fields and rivers... not seeing them or hearing them but feeling that they are there. i then come back to myself not wanting to but willing at the same time. not wanting to come back to this ife and yet thankful for a chance to see what may be. i come back to myself, and as i turn to walk inside i feel someone say to me that everything will be ok. i close my eyes once more, and say "thank you".

the dream

the dream

by Thomas Anthony Fraetis on Monday, June 15, 2009 at 1:23am

i am stuck in a world where i am lost in all that goes on, i search for you looking through hallways, opening every closet i yearn to find what my heart truly wants and needs. i feel your presence inside me but i dont see you, so i look harder and harder but still i dont see you anywhere. inside i am dying...its eating me a live.. knowing you are there and yet still searching for you. my kness give way to the doubt and anger and i fall...holding my head in my hands... slowly i rise from my knees, and stand tall. i open my eyes and i see you there. in front of me bright and shining like the sun you reach your hand towards me and sudenly i find myself awake in my bed looking at the sealing....and now... i find myself lost...but not lost in the world.. but lost in YOU...all that you are everything that is amazing... and TRULY perfect.

this is not a song this is just how i feel on this subject

dont become what the world is trying to make you.

by Thomas Anthony Fraetis on Saturday, August 8, 2009 at 3:08am

this is an emergency, can we not see what our world is coming to? even me, being young can remember when it was actually looked down on to have children dress as they do now. especially girls. in my opinion a 12 year old girl should not dress like a 25 year old. and in some cases almost hooker-ish. this just sickens me. and we wonder why there are so many pedophiles! can you not see?! we create the problem ourselves! now trust me, i have no problem with a young girl trying to look good.. there is nothing wrong with that. but the fact is it does not have to involve skin tight shorts that could easily be mistaken for something else! and the same goes for swim suit! i mean come on people! a tiny bikini does not belong on young girls. and yet socially this has become acceptable. its on tv, movies, everything. and this sickens me the most....i dont know why any parent could allow this, but there are underaged girls that model under wear. really... this world is sick and twisted. somebody save us! also another thing.. older girls. seriously. expect to get looked at like a piece of meat when you dress like one! im sorry but i have to be very blunt on this point! dont wear skimpy clothing and then get mad that you are being looked at like what you are dressing as. if you dont want that, then dont dres as such!! then there is violence, now this isnt as big a deal for me but only because i am a little older than some of the kids that watch this crap, parents take their little kids to r rated movies like its no big deal. ratings have gotten so loose nowadays that even an r rated film can sometimes be refferred to as a pornography. i am so disguisted with how america and the world is becoming.. so many things that were conidered wrong and unthinkable 10 years ago are perfectly fine with us now! we need to wake up and smell the flowers... this is all i have to say. i just had to get this out there because it has been on my mind for a long time and it bothers me how screwed up this world is

the worlds abyss

the worlds abyss

by Thomas Anthony Fraetis on Sunday, October 25, 2009 at 6:21pm

When we stand but fall. Or...at leas we think we are standing tall. But really we are at the bottom o the abyss, thinking the best. Thinking we are the best In the world. Making what god created to be more than himself the creator. We don't need help, we are the human race right? The most advanced species in the world...and the universe. But wait...who is the one that made the world for you to be th best in? Don't take fo granted what we have been blessed with. Don't make yourself a god among men.God takes false idols....false"GODS"...and cuts them down like timber to be put into a lake of fire. To be burned but never extinguished. Instead. Make yourself a servant. Let your knees get a little dirt on them sothat your SOUL can be cleansed. Don't let the dirt that the world puts on the holy ground o prayer stop you from sinking deepinto his love. Let your pride be shattered. For pride IS the abyss of the world.

another dream

yet again. another dream.

by Thomas Anthony Fraetis on Tuesday, March 30, 2010 at 9:14pm

when all seems lost.. and the smoke fillsd the air, battle cries are heard across the desert sand.
with bullets flying overhead and landing right in front of you, wounds from a fight well worth it. all i can think of is that one person and all that comes to my mind is what she is to me.
time slows almost to a standstill, nothing is heard. nothing is felt. but i see her face in front of me.
glowing with a perfect smile that could stop the toughest man in his tracks.
i reach for an invisible hand , almost crawling. toward the image in front of me.
i fall on my face. almost in tears, i say her name into the sand. only loud enough for me to hear.
when everything goes black. this is when i wake up.

my song

my song

by Thomas Anthony Fraetis on Wednesday, April 7, 2010 at 3:57am

all time has past. i used to be so much more, more than you know. i have lost, lost it all only to see how far from what i need i really am. so long youve ben gone, maybe my luck will change. after all this time has past. gone by like the wind. and memories of harsh words and bitter felings fall away to be no more than a leaf on the ground that blows away to never be seen again...

this is my song to you forever since ive met you
since ive seen you in dreams of good times and better days
lets forget the past and start fresh. the only thing i wish for
when all is lost never give up the hope for what you love.

let me apologize for what i said and let me become the thngs i once thought i was.
never have i felt so lost before. when thoughts of you come and go day by day.
they rush me like a cool breeze and leave like a storm when i realize what you must think of me.
when i cant sleep for fear i may dream of an angel. how can an angel be so terrifying.


this is my song to you forever since ive met you
since ive seen you in dreams of good times and better days
lets forget the past and start fresh. the only thing i wish for
when all is lost never give up the hope for what you love.


all i have is what i can say to you now. when you cant hear me.
hear me out one more time...
but how, how can you talk to something so beautiful and so perfect.
what can i say when no words describe what i want to tell you.
sometimes. words wil not work. if only they did then maybe you could understand why.

never.. never...never give up on what you love.
they say if you love it let it go.
i say if you truly love it. keep it close... you will know when it makes you happier than anything youve ever known.

the perfect poem

the perfect poem

by Thomas Anthony Fraetis on Wednesday, April 14, 2010 at 2:02am

sometimes fancy words cannot explain how you feel
so all i say is; I Have And Will Always Love You

a song for the band/ let me know what you think. its a hardcore song

by Thomas Anthony Fraetis on Tuesday, May 11, 2010 at 1:45am

throw down my arms in resistance, im shackled, ill strain and stress till i shatter the steel around my wrist
if you want war, youve released the beast within

no stopping now
no where for this to go
finally standing up like a man
its time for you to know, im through with you

something speaks to me to continue on the ground bloodied and bruised, grind it out. block it out.
venting through fists of fury.this isnt good but right now it feels so right.
finding this monster within scares me to no end. where will it end

no stopping now
no where for this to go
finally standing up like a man
its time for you to know, im through with you

infuriated by you. im gonna let it go till the last peice fades away, all is lost. your just another star in the sky. youll flicker out just like the rest. so few shine bright like they should, emptiness fills the void you left but still i cant feel.

take it away

take it away.

by Thomas Anthony Fraetis on Wednesday, September 22, 2010 at 12:50am

to all the days past and all the days that ill always want again.
take them and throw them out. they are as good as the words you wrote me.
cruelty knows not its limits. scouring out the hearts of many. day by day. i fall victim to the hate.
redeemed by only what the world tells me and still feeling the beating of nothing within.
my chest is as hollow as yours is merciless. never can you feel the way i have.
regrets and shame for something i never did wrong. betrayal, and desertion are your only trophies to bear.
become what you were not. give back the life you stole. never again will these eyes be fooled or this heart tormented.
 forget me not. but never want me back.

endless rebellion

Endless rebellion

by Thomas Anthony Fraetis on Wednesday, September 22, 2010 at 1:59am

to those that cannot find a place withing this world, there is a higher calling for us.
to stand up and stand out against this crowd. despite all the pounding of so called knowledge.

  release us. that which is within, we do notfight to save the world.
  for the world has already met its doom.

desolate we have become....a world full of individuals.
little do they know their choices lead them to never ending pain ,even though they search for pleasure.
we have no rest until the task is done. forever, never ending is our assignment.

  release us. that  which is withn, we do not fight to save the world
  for the world has already met its doom.

we are not the same. born different, with a fire that is ever hungry for more.
uncontrollable and unpredictable is how we must act. regret nothing for there is nothing to regret.
we have no fears because fear is on our side. nothing can touch what is indomitable.

idk yet

Edit

... idk... lol

by Thomas Anthony Fraetis on Monday, September 27, 2010 at 10:17pm

you take your pain, braught about by how you threw it all away. call me, talk to me, then stop me. dead in my tracks.
no warning no way of reasoning with you. trying to set this right was never in your plans. you took it all.
blatant disregard for any other feelings. now youve found a better man. you say i changed, i say you wanted out. i dont wish for your return. infact i wish for your memories to be wiped from my life. pain is not what love should bring. i loved, you lost. and for some reason im the one left with all the pain. not able to feel anything more than whats not there. built like a house with nothing inside.  no warmth do i feel. no colors do i see, no sounds do i hear. love ended all that was bright and beautiful in my eyes. that world has gone. now all i see is a barren wasteland empty of everything i ever wished for. stolen raided and plundered of its riches. dirt and sand fill the cracks where it should be cared for by the one who supposedly cared.